visiting lewis
September 18, 2009
There was something different about Lewis. It seen like I wasn't welcome to Lewis anymore. All the sudden I felt like I was only a visitor. When I tried to go around, I didn't know where to go exactly. Even with the alumni, Mr.Shama didn't mention too much.
I think I need to focus on my study then.
Well, after seeing Wendy yesterday, I just lost all the mood and she completely wiped out my mind. All I did after visiting Lewis was sleeping. It was a sad story. I felt like it was impossible to keep this inside my head. It was completely stupid to dream "I will get you 10 years later".
It was completely pointless to like someone who isn't my friend anymore. It was completely painful to remember all these people I hurt and people I liked. Two days ago I came across to Grace Tsui. I always feel disgusting every time I remembered what I did in my Sophomore year. That letter and presents I gave to Grace make my sick now.
What about Wendy? There was a feeling of worthless. All I remembered was another disgusting moment. Those memories would drive me crazy. It took me a couple months to finally not get into these memories as much as possible. But every time when she appears in front of me, these disgusting moments and love returns like they will strangle me to death.
I have two exams comping up and I know I must ace those two exams.
Mike Chen told me she's planning to attend Baruch. I know exactly why she made this decision. But she gave up on me. She said she would go to engineering. She lied to me. Just a year ago.
